The Ugly Truth

Ah, let us close our eyes and think of a bygone era in which doors didn't have to be locked at night, a man helped his neighbor, and no grudges were held.

But in 2009, our culture has become so self-absorbed and we believe that we are entitled to a perfect, struggle-free life, and anyone who gets in the way of that better be ready to pay up. The latest? Former Miss California Carrie Prejean who had her 15 minutes of fame when she answered a question in a non-politically correct fashion at the Miss USA Pageant several months ago. She is now suing for discrimination, claiming that she was persecuted for her expressed beliefs. When all this originally went down, I was hit with a flood of different contrasting emotions and it was hard to get a handle on everything that I was feeling. It was also hard to keep anger in check.

Let's start at the beginning. You have Miss Prejean, Miss California standing on a stage being questioned by queer muckraker Perez Hilton about whether states should allow same-sex marriage. Well, Prejean stated that in fact, no, they shouldn't, that marriage should be between a man and a woman. This is a commonly held belief among Christians. Now, there are some important points that need to be made right from the start. #1 - That question never should have been asked in a setting like a Miss USA pageant. It is such a polarizing issue that the person being asked is really in a no-win situation. She will offend millions, no matter how she answers. All Hilton was doing was stirring up trouble, and he knew it. That was compounded by his hateful blog entry later when he called her terrible names and assaulted her character. Point #2 - Having been asked that question, she had a right to answer in whatever way was honest and from the heart. She was not wrong for answering the way she did.

Following this, Prejean and Hilton made the same mistake, oddly enough. Hilton claimed that her answer was the reason she lost the Miss USA pageant, and Prejean essentially agreed with him. Okay, never mind that we have a perfectly good candidate who did win, presumably on her own merits. What, are we now saying she was a dog and didn't deserve to win? That is extremely disrespectful. And Hilton only hurt the gay rights cause by making such a stink, because he has given Prejean a political platform that she did not have before. He's given her a soapbox to stand on. She started appearing in TV ads against gay marriage. She went on FOX news telling her sob story and how much of a victim she was. She gained passionate supporters in people like Hannity and O'Reilley. Thanks Perez, for elevating her to almost martyr status. Good job!

Then she lost her Miss California crown, and there's debate about why that is. She says it's because of her beliefs. The Miss California officials claim it's because she didn't do her job. I tend to believe the officials. So now Prejean is on a rampage to clear her good name and be compensated for how she's been wronged.

But is that what Christ did? He was brought before the court and people said vile things about Him, spat on Him, whipped Him, beat Him, calling Him a blasphemer. Did He say, "No, you're wrong, I am being unjustly persecuted"? No, He did not, because He knew that the task that was required of Him also required His silence.

Paul and other apostles were imprisoned for spreading the Gospel of Christ. They weren't doing anything wrong, but in that day and age, the Gospel could get you killed. Yet they remained steadfast and determined to spread the Good News at any cost. They didn't have the option of suing those who spoke against them or threw them in prison. And the way they endured their trials with grace and love glorified Christ.

The Word of God says we'll suffer and be persecuted for His sake. Sadly, American society is becoming more and more like that old ancient hedonistic Roman one where Christian thinking and values are looked on with disgust. How will we deal with the rising tide of secular humanism and all its attempts to banish God from our culture? Do we go to court? See, it just seems to me that such a road is divisive and ultimately harmful to the cause. The reason I said I was so emotional about the whole pageant thing is because as a Christian, it breaks my heart to think that our right of free speech could be taken away. But as a gay man, it breaks my heart to hear a Christian speak with such startling lack of empathy and compassion. So the war rages on. If you offend me, we must fight, or take each other to court. Jesus said turn the other cheek. He was not being cute; he really, really meant it.

But I know the problem with anger. Just last night, I had a real struggle with anger as I was confronted with a situation in my play rehearsals that I felt was unfair, and it took hours to sort of cool off, but not before I made myself look like kind of an ass in front of the other people involved. When I was working at Kmart, there were people who "made my blood boil" by accusing me of not working hard enough, not doing my job properly, and I got so mad, I complained to management. Did that solve anything? Not really. I believe Jesus would have said to pray for that co-worker, to be kind to her, to listen to her, to ask her how I could help her out more.

Anger is a poison. It is associated with deep wounds that we all have. When we get our feelings hurt, we tend to respond in anger much of the time. I believe that Prejean's anti-gay publicity tour following the pageant was a result of her being lashed out at, and she felt like she had to defend herself. Who started the war? Who shed first blood? It wasn't her. But once the war started, she fought, fought, fought, like her dignity and even her very identity depended on it. We all do that.

Christians and gays, raise the white flag. Gays, the diversity symbolized by your beloved rainbow is represented as much by people of faith as by anyone else. And Christians, you've been called not to defend yourselves but to take up your cross and live the life of Jesus, which was marked by endless love for others and personal sacrifice.